Weasel Coffee

Wednesday, July 26th, 2006 at 11:37 am

I almost choked when I came across this …!

It was a year or two ago when I came across an article about “polecat coffee” and it had the same description of how it came to be – coffee beans swallowed by polecats, then expelled, then dried and what-not by villagers, ending up as wonderful, but expensive, coffee for the discerning few.

It was just a few weeks ago when I tried to track down that article so that I could include it in the blog but it had vanished into cyberspace.

Now this!

I need to find out if this coffee can be exported down under because I reckon it would give an absolute lift to any coffee mornings I might have. Goodness, everyone thinks I’m peculiar because I’m potty about my ferrets.

I can just see their faces when I pour weasel coffee into my Wedgwood cups – bwahahahahahaha!

Delicious coffee regurgitated by weasels.

It’s the taste!

This amazing coffee is so rare and so astonishing, even Gareth Hunt would be shaking his beans in disbelief! Why? Well, as the name sort of (well, it doesn’t really) suggests, Weasel coffee has been eaten and regurgitated by rare Vietnamese weasels! Honestly!

As you can imagine, the weasels’ gastric goings-on radically alter the taste of the coffee and the result is a stronger, smoother, heady flavoured coffee that will appeal to serious connoisseurs of the mighty bean.

Once ‘evacuated’ by the bean-loving fur balls, the coffee is collected by eagle-eyed villagers, who then market the stuff directly to the manufacturers.

This richly refreshing coffee is great news in PR terms for the poor old weasel, as the much-maligned creature is frequently (and erroneously) associated with treachery and deceit. In fact, a quick look in the dictionary reveals that, as well as describing a small carnivore, the word weasel can also be used to depict a person who is sly, perfidious and double-crossing.

And anyone who recalls the naughty weasels in Roger Rabbit will remember that they were portrayed as a bunch of cowardly sidekicks who bore more than a passing resemblance to Dean Gaffney. All of which is a great pity, because if it weren’t for these furtive little fellows you’d never be able to enjoy the strange but refreshing delights of Weasel Coffee.

Weasel Coffee is great for serving post dinner-party – of course, telling the guests about its production process is strictly optional, but we recommend you spill the beans (boom boom) after they’ve consumed it – and it also makes a great conversation piece in the office coffee-making area. So don’t try weaselling out of it, order yours today! It’s totally safe, totally sterilised and totally delicious.

Pass the biscuits. (No weasels were harmed during the making of this coffee).