I read this article and was absolutely delighted with it. For once we have an unbiased, truthful story about ferrets … the good, the bad and the smelly :-)

How nice to see a fairly balanced report on the pros and cons of owning a ferret … something to show people who are contemplating getting a ferret, IMHO.

Ferret Love

They poop, they steal, they smell, they (sometimes) bite. They are adored.

By Richard Connelly Published: August 23, 2007

You’re a reporter. Your editor wants someone on the staff to do a story about ferrets and the people who love them. Amazingly, there are no takers.

So she leans on you, no doubt because she knows damn well that you don’t particularly like pets. Dogs, cats, gerbils, even ferrets if you had ever given them a thought, which you certainly hadn’t.

You’re a team player. You suck it up and take the assignment.But the idea of talking to people who really, really like ferrets is…if not exactly daunting, it’s not something you eagerly anticipate.You meet some ferret folks, and they seem like nice enough people, but still you put off, for as long as humanly possible, picking up the phone to talk ferrets. Finally deadline pressures force you to make the call.

And you hear this voice message: “Hello, you’ve reached the house of Prince Vladimir Poopin. I’m not in, and neither are my minions Noni and Dave. Please leave a message.”

Good Lord, you think. Is it too late to switch to a feature story on sewage-line cost overruns?

A fellow reporter hears your groans, asks what’s up and then says, “Dude, you’ve got to record that message and put it in your story.”

He’s right, of course. So you call back, inexpressibly happy that you won’t have to actually talk ferrets right now. And that’s when things go horribly, horribly wrong.Noni answers the phone.

“Oh, umm, hi,” you say. (“Can you hang up so I can record that crazy voice message?” you don’t say.)

You take a deep breath, put on a happy face and steel yourself to talk about the cheery, happy, wonderful world of ferrets.

“So, how’s ol’ Prince Vladimir Poopin doing?” you ask, managing to work up a friendly chuckle.

“Oh…Well, he died this morning.” (“Good CHRIST, can I catch a break with this story?” you somehow manage not to scream.)

“Geez, I’m sorry to hear that.” (Please, please, make it not be a sad, drawn-out, depressing death.)

“Yes, he had bone-marrow cancer.” (So much for that wish.) “He slipped into a coma, and now he’s gone.”

By now you realize that the gods are toying with you here, so there’s nothing to do but plunge in and get the whole thing over with. Luckily Noni Clark, like almost all ferret owners, is used to them dying — or at least as used to it as you can get when it concerns a pet you truly love.

Houston – News – Ferret Love

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